you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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