put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
