right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
