i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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