I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
