Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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