Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
