Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I did not marry a roomba.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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