Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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