HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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