I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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