you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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