Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
