Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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