When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
