I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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