I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
