youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
