Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
