He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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