margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
