If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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