I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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