If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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