I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
