I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
