Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
