Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
