bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
