how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
