addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
