yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
