Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
