this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
