She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
