This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
