Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
