What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
