yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am puke
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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