wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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