did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
