Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
