so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
