At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
