and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
