you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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