Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
