This dress was meant to end up on your floor
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
