i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
