Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
