Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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