Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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